Have you ever been rejected?

Have you ever wrestled with those internal voices that question your value after a rejection?

Have you ever felt the physical pain in your body following rejection?

This morning, I want to convince all of us, including myself, of the gift that can be found through rejection.

Although we all could probably agree we would prefer to never experience rejection. There is a danger if we do not understand it. It can stunt our growth and leave us bitter and broken. If we hide from it, we will never experience the opportunities we could. So, the question I want to answer this morning is how can we keep ourselves open to opportunities, knowing there is a chance for rejection. How can we be well equipped so when rejection comes for us, we know how to process it and allow it to propel us forward instead of holding us captive.

I was introduced to rejection at a very young age. With my very limited understanding of this life at that early age, and without anyone to help me understand it, I came up with ways to self-protect against the pain and carried that into adulthood. I had taught myself to stay small as to protect myself from rejection, to be hyper focused and sensitive to the room. I would bend and twist and duck to appease everyone according to what I assumed they wanted. It was exhausting but it seemed to work! I was so used to it and knew nothing else, so the exhaustion was just normal. I thought I had beat the system somehow, I had figured out how to dodge rejection, but what I did not realize was that I was choosing to reject myself that whole time. Rejection is an inevitable part of life, whether in personal relationships, professional endeavors, or creative pursuits. How we handle rejection can define us and shape our future, either positively or negatively.

Rejection can be a powerful force, and if we don’t recognize the valuable lessons it offers, it can lead us down two negative paths.

1. False Beliefs About Ourselves: Without proper understanding, rejection can foster false beliefs, whispering insidious lies that we are not enough and, worse, that we may never be enough. This belief can become a heavy burden, stifling our potential and dimming our spirit.

2. Emotional Walls: Rejection often leads us to build emotional walls as a defense mechanism to protect our hearts from further hurt. While these walls may provide temporary relief, they ultimately isolate us, preventing us from forming genuine connections and experiencing the fullness of life.

So, how can we cope with rejection in a healthy and constructive way? How can we learn to embrace rejection, not as a setback, but as a powerful teacher guiding us toward our true potential? Here are four steps to help us navigate through this challenging emotion:

• Acknowledge the Pain and Grieve the Loss: Start by recognizing and accepting the pain that comes with rejection. It’s normal to feel hurt. Allow yourself to grieve, whether it’s over a relationship ending, a missed job opportunity, or a creative project that didn’t receive the recognition you hoped for. Embrace your emotions and give yourself the space to heal.

• Don’t Blame Yourself: Rejection can lead to self-doubt and unfair self-blame. Remember that rejection often isn’t a reflection of your abilities or worth. Factors like circumstances and timing can play a significant role. Instead of internalizing the rejection, focus on your strengths and achievements.

• Strengthen Your Resiliency: Resiliency is the ability to recover from setbacks and keep moving forward. Build this quality by focusing on self-care and personal growth. Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift you. Engage in activities that boost your confidence and well-being. View each rejection as a chance to learn and grow stronger.

• Keep Putting Yourself Out There: Don’t let the fear of rejection hold you back. Continue to take risks and pursue your goals. Each attempt, regardless of the outcome, brings you closer to your dreams. Embrace the uncertainty, knowing that every experience, even the painful ones, contributes to your journey.

In conclusion, rejection is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to define us. By acknowledging our pain, refusing to blame ourselves, strengthening our resiliency, and continuing to put ourselves out there, we can transform rejection into a powerful catalyst for growth and self-discovery.